29 April 2013

Be More Than Your Dress


I like to joke that I'm one of the laziest Lolitas you will ever meet. Don't get me wrong, I put effort into my appearance because my personal aesthetics matter to me. Aside from that, I rarely do my nails, I don't keep up with releases, I can't remember print names, I don't know who the most popular girls/guys are, and unless someone has told me or it has directly effected me, I don't keep up with the current drama. All in all, I just don't give a fuck.

I see people who get wrapped up into the fashion to the point where it becomes the majority of what they discuss in real life, and I can't understand it. I adore Lolita fashion. When I wear it, it makes me feel like who I should look like, that mode of expression that--before I knew what it was--was missing, this absence I couldn't place. Despite that, do you know what I value the most about it, and do you know what I value most in life? People.

If it weren't for this fashion community, I would be without a sizable chunk of my family, the family I created. I wouldn't have grown the way I have or have been brave enough to make some of the hardest decisions of my life. The family it has brought me to is my rock, and these individuals have taught me who I want to be underneath the frills. Those things considered, there is a point at which I stop.

If I can't get Sparkle Princess Ice Cream Dandy Parade Town, I won't feel that my life isn't worth living. I will never give two shits about how many followers I have on Instagram or how many likes I get on Facebook. I love flattery as much as the next person who enjoys getting compliments, but it is never something I will focus on. My dream isn't having all of the most desirable prints nor is it being e-famous.

I want to do the things I think are fun, and when they stop being fun, I don't want to do them anymore. I want people to like me because I like having friends and a community in which I can listen and be heard. I want to make some kind of positive difference in this community such that we stop being so damn shitty to one another. I want to be an example of someone who makes other people feel like they are beautiful and not alone in the world.

The pretense and false sense of importance people in this industry can adopt makes me sick. Some of them need to look at their lives and choices and figure out what is actually meaningful as opposed to where they can find their next source of ego inflation. At the end of the day, Lolita is fabric. Lifeless fabric. If you want to be proud of yourself when the petticoats, false eyelashes, circle lenses, and wigs are off, be a decent human being. Have compassion for strangers. Be more than your dress, appreciate the inherent beauty in your existence, and find some way to pay it forward.

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