26 August 2011

Did You Know? You Are the Prettiest Part of Your Frills!

A Letter to Every Lolita:

Maybe you have learned to coordinate well and found the fit that suits you best. You are seasoned. Or, maybe you are new, still figuring things out and haven’t worked out all of the kinks. Either way, you immerse yourself in enchanted images of those you think look like perfect dolls, aesthetics you think you will never achieve. You think your face is too round or too long, your nose too pointed or too flat, or your features altogether not right. You constantly compare yourself to shapes and figures that aren’t yours. 

It’s hard to remember, (I often forget,) but the most beautiful element of a dress is the lady or gentleman who wears it. How others perceive our looks is 100% subjective. I believe this fiercely. In my eyes, (and maybe my philosophy is totally warped, but it is what I live by,) there is not one person better or worse looking than another person. 

There infinite perspectives from infinite cultures from infinite periods of time. How could anyone else besides you decide if you are beautiful? You are the best authority on that matter. Believe you are beautiful and carry yourself as such and you will be. Believe you are not, become void of any self-assuredness, lack in love for your every part, and you will not be.

I am very guilty of feeling never enough. I hear negative things people say, and I seek validation within myself. I see other people’s beautiful pictures, and I wonder if I am as good, if I could ever be as good. 

The one thing I don’t do is let this turn to jealousy because I want to be glad for others' gifts and good fortune. However, I should not let it get to the point of ever feeling lesser. I need to remind myself that I am as good, as valuable, as beautiful. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone and neither do you.

I think one of the biggest mistakes that is made with well-known individuals in popular culture (and sub-culture in our case) is admiration is taken too far--we idolize. This can be very harmful. While I think it is important to have Lolita inspiration and Lolita role-models to constantly push us in new and interesting directions in order to challenge us, idolization implies something we can never reach. I refuse to believe that any one of us lacks the potential to be exactly the person she or he would like to be. Please, don’t give up on yourself. 

You are not boring or lame or ugly or plain or lack-luster---you were born as you were supposed to and that is exceptional. I believe you can fight through almost any struggle. From the bottom of my heart, I believe in you.

I imagine this sounds all kinds of cliché, but I have a feeling some of you really need to hear this right now, and I hope it inspires something positive from within.

Love and Sparkles,


1 comment

  1. Well said! You are so beautiful, inside and OUT. Beauty is as beauty does. I never thought I was "beautiful" or looked like anyone in the family until I saw a picture of my grandmother and grandfather when they were first married.

    It was AMAZING figuring out WHOSE nose I had... and that my eyes were from Grandpa's side... my biiig ears from Dad.

    Put every effort you can to leave the house in your frills, knowing, "I did my best. I look FIERCE!" Carry yourself well. Strut your stuff. Own that coord. And you will.